Grimlock

Him No Bozo, Him King

Hasbro, Transformers Generations Toyline, 2006

Nope, you’re still not reading that wrong. And yep, we’re reviewing Grimlock again. This time, our leader of the Dinobots comes to us in the form of the Generations toyline which was a reimagining of the original line and characters, 25 years later.

I think this evaluation is important because it says a lot about toys have evolved in the last quarter-decade. If we look at the Transformers as they first arrived and what we have now, it speaks volumes about the fandom and the world said fandom inhabits.

Background

For 25 years, Hasbro has been producing Transformers toys. Believe it or not, there’s never been a point when Transformer toys haven’t been in production and available. Through the dark days of the Gen-two era, through the beacon that was Beast Wars and then to the nightmare that was Beast Machines, and into Robots in Disguise and the Unicon Trilogy, and finally to the arrival of the live-action movie, Transformers have remained a part of the fabric of entertainment.

As was en vogue at the time, it was a return to the 80s, with 80s shows, movies, and concepts rising to the forefront of entertainment. It was an era rife with relaunches and reimaginings. And Transformers was no different. And so we got the Generations toyline.　

Appearance – 4 out of 5

It’s not going to surprise anyone if I describe this toy is beautiful. It elegantly captures the original design and appearance of Grimlock – in both robot and dinosaur mode – and then him to the next level.

Construction – 2 out of 5

While there is nothing poor about this toy, it is a little lacking in the materials. The plastic feels a little light and there are some movements that require a bit of elbow grease which, with the light construction, can give one pause about doing possible damage. Also, some joints don’t really lock into place so it’s too easy for them to swing open with even the slightest movement.

Movement – 4 out of 5

Speaking of movement, this thing is a charm. Beautifully done, this figure is (already referenced above) incredibly poseable and comes with an array of joints that correspond with the anatomy. Both robot and dinosaur modes can move fluidly and naturally.

Extras – 3 out of 5

The toy comes with two extras: a tail/sword weapon of some bizarre design and a gun with a blade (which is absent from the photo above, sorry). Both of these fit into the character’s hands in robot mode and fit onto the figure in dinosaur mode.

Packaging – 4 out of 5

I know; I have a love affair with Hasbro and its Transformers packaging. And you know what, the Generation’s line didn’t let us down. Beautifully illustrated, this accentuated the newness of the toys’ designs while still harkening back to the original line.

　

Overall – 4 out of 5

This is a fun toy to play with that’s well-built and pretty sturdy. Combine with that its familiarity to the fans that have loved the franchise since the start and you’ve got a great toy. If there was any mistake to level against this toy, it should be obvious: it should be bigger. It’s Grimlock, afterall!

Grimlock

Him No Bozo, Him King

Hasbro, Transformers Toyline, 1984

No, you’re not reading this wrong. This isn’t a repeat of last week’s review; it’s an examination of a related toy. It would seem that in the closing months of the last year of the first decade of the new millennium, we’ve defined ourselves as a culture – at least from an entertainment standpoint – by how we’ve reimagined what we’ve enjoyed in the past. Last week’s entry was a discussion of a toy from a cartoon that was based partially off a movie a few years old and a cartoon series a few decades old (which the movie was ALSO based off). Dizzying, yes?

This isn’t to cast judgment on this phenomena. Personally speaking, I believe there have been some wonderful successes in this whole run of remakes and reimaginings. And while I won’t deny I grow weary of it, I also get super-psyched about some of the titles that are next up. Still, it’s fun to go back to the original inspirations and view them for what they are. In some ways, they don’t stand up to the test of time. And in some ways, they really do.

　

Background

I won’t rehash what we’ve already established about Grimlock as a character. He’s the leader of the Dinobots, which are giant robots that transform into dinosaurs. And that sentence is probably all you really need to know to establish this guy’s awesomeness. Oh, and he breathes fire.

Appearance – 3 out of 5

This is a pretty average toy. While this review is based off the Gen-2 line, it’s a near-carbon copy of the original Gen-1 line (the difference being the color – gun-metal gray traded for deep blue – and materials – die-cast metal traded for hard plastic). The character looks pleasantly similar to the character from the cartoon and is nicely proportioned. Screws and joints can be seen but they’re not garish and tend to be worked into the overall look and feel of the toy. There are some nice textures but nothing that truly stands out.

Construction – 2 out of 5

Once again, we have to confront an unpleasant truth about the Gen-1 Transformers toys which is that they were not the perfect toys overall. This toy is considerably top-heavy in robot mode and you find you have to extend his arms fully forward just to keep him from falling over. This lack of balance, coupled with some weak joints (principally the knees and the flaps of his dinosaur-mode torso), makes this toy a little unlikely to survive years and years of play.

Movement – 2 out of 5

Grimlock is deceptively disappointing when it comes to movement. At first, it appears like this toy has some pretty decent mobility. But upon inspection, most of the mobility is as much due to its transformation process as it is to simulate the movement in the robot mode. The hips and knees move only in line with their transformation process, the arms have no elbows, and there are no hip or neck rotators.

Fortunately, in Dinosaur mode, things improve. The tail doesn’t move and the head has a range of motion of maybe 15 degrees, but the legs (the arms in robot mode) sprout knee joints (that go both ways for some reason) that can simulate some varieties of walking and running.

Extras – 2 out of 5

Grimlock comes with two weapons: a gun and a sword. The weapons aren’t terribly well-made or uniquely designed which, when you consider that there’s nowhere for them to go when he’s in dinosaur mode, makes them feel sort of slapped onto the toy. The gun is pretty standard for Transformers (and most toys) of the era, but the sword is really kind of poor and is little more than a shard of plastic. Add these passingly adequate weapons to his lack of elbow or wrist joints and one almost asks ‘why bother’.

Packaging – 3 out of 5

Transformers packaging was the yardstick back in the day and many toy makers can (or at least should) still learn a lot from them. The ID card with a personal quote, character description, and stats was frickin’ brilliant. The beautiful artwork was just that; art. And the points that could (in theory) be redeemed to buy Reflector just added to the near-mythical nature of the packaging.

Overall – 3 out of 5

Like my Devastator review, I’m sure this will cause some controversy. Lord knows, I feel a little ashamed. But this toy, when viewed objectively, has its faults. Mostly in the form of its mobility, there’s a lot left wanting. My single biggest complaint might actually be a little surprising but it’s the lack of size. The Dinobots are supposed to be huge, even compared to the other giant robots they are surrounded by. And they turn into dinosaurs, with their leader being the king of the giants, the Tyrannosaur Rex. Grimlock doesn’t convey that sense of size here. True, most of the Transformers toys were originally fairly uniform in height, but I figure this should have been the first toy to break with that. Optimus Prime might be the beloved child of the Transformers franchise, but this is Grimlock we’re talking about here. This is the King. And the king should’ve been bigger, dammit.

Grimlock

Him No Bozo, Him King

Hasbro, Transformers Animated Toyline, 2007

In the wake of the live-action Transformers movie, Hasbro had a real problem. On the one hand, they had a very popular and very successful movie on their hands. On the other hand, they had a lot of jilted fans that were a little annoyed at the liberties taken with their favorite franchise. Never ones to look back, Hasbro launched their Transformers Animated line in conjunction with their new animated series that drew from every source prior as well as becoming its own entity. However, as has been stated before, Hasbro knows where its bread is buttered and they went to great lengths to make sure the fans didn’t feel left out on this one.

　

Background

Quick question: what’s more awesome than robots that turn into cars and planes? If you said robots that turn into dinosaurs, you’d be right. Such was the thinking when it came to the first sub-class of Transformers, the Dinobots. With a wide variety of origins ranging throughout the different variations of the story, everybody seems to have their own spin on the Dinobots. But one thing that is never questioned is who is in charge: Grimlock.

Grimlock, who transforms into a Tyrannosaurus Rex, is always the leader of the Dinobots and is often jockeying for leadership of the Autobots themselves, typically leading to friction and even out-right confrontation with Optimus Prime. While he is the brains (sometimes a dubious claim) of the Dinobot operation, he’s often the most physically powerful as well. This was beautifully illustrated in the Transformers Animated series.

Transformers Animated was a colorful and somewhat more kid-friendly version of the original series. The characters are a little bit more outlandish and extreme than their Gen-One counterparts, but they also benefited from superior character development. And while the plots of individual episodes tended to be a little less complex, the overarching season and series plots were the wonderful result of the anime invasion in the late 90s. As a result, Grimlock in Animated is like a caricature of his Gen-One self. However, like all good art, through this exaggeration we see even more clearly elements of the character we know and love.

Appearance – 4 out of 5

The Grimlock figure is very well made and beautifully represents the character from the show. And like the character from the show, it clearly harkens back to the original character from Gen-One, all the way down to the nigh-identical transformation sequence. The character is nicely colored and manages to capture the somewhat whimsical look of the character from the series. The only real complaint I have is that seams and screws are way too obvious. There’s pretty much no way for the character to stand that you don’t see at least a few reminders of how the toy was put together.

Construction – 3 out of 5

The figure is relatively solid in its construction and the plastic is a bit on the weighty side, though I wouldn’t bee too quick to apply the adjective ‘rugged’. All the joints are sturdy, but there’s still a certain sense of fragility to the figure that isn’t as common to Transformers as one would first suspect. It feels a little light in the hands and the limbs feel a little too disproportionate for their weight distribution. There’s no clear issue with the construction, but it’s just not quite there to make it solid and well done.

Movement – 5 out of 5

This figure is beautifully mobile. It’s got every joint you need and none of the ones you don’t. There isn’t a pose this figure can’t take. The head turns, the jaw of the T-Rex head opens and closes, the shoulders are ball-joints, there’s a waist, and more. The only thing it’s lacking are ankles and you really won’t miss them. Seriously, both forms are extremely mobile and natural to move. The toy even has opposable thumbs for crying out loud!

Extras – 2 out of 5

Grimlock comes with only one extra, but it’s a doozy. He comes with a flaming sword that (in theory) doubles as a gust of flames from his mouth. The sword is appropriately large for a thug like Grimlock and it even has little sprouting flames that pop out by putting it in his hand. In dinosaur form, the sword is supposed to stick into his mouth to simulate his fiery breath. The reality is not so cool as the sword barely fits in his mouth and when it does, it still looks like a sword stuck in his mouth. A for effort, but a D- for execution.

Packaging – 3 out of 5

The Transformers Animated packaging was quiet nice and bordered on excellent, but it just didn’t quite make it. Each package came with a picture of the figure on the front, a plastic window to see the figure inside, and an explanation of the character’s powers and personality on the back. Unfortunately, the explanation was a little sparse and there was no real explanation of the story itself. Other characters were presented, but they seemed haphazardly chosen and represented only a fraction of the available line. Overall, it was good packaging and well-done, but not anything to write home about.

　

Overall – 4 out of 5

This is a fine example of a very decent toy. While it’s definitely lacking in some notable areas, overall it’s still a well-made toy that’s a lot of fun to play with. The transformation movements are smooth and make sense, the figure is very easy to pose and will hold poses without much effort. I don’t think this is the most sterling example of a Four, but it’s simply too well made and too much fun to play with to reside with the mediocrity of a Three.

Rick Hunter's Veritech Fighter

Robotech’s Golden Boy Returns

Toynami, 2001

Transformable mecha have long been known for their poor transitions from show to toy. It’s often extremely hard to capture all the wonder and awesomeness that a mech in a show displays in a tangible little plastic man. The issues range from the technology to make a hardy enough material that will endure play while still being light enough to cheaply produce. You’ve also got the issue of joint mechanics, figuring out how to replicate the transformation sequence in a believable manner and, oh yeah, it’d be nice if it actually looked like the character itself.

One solution that some toy companies pursued was to simply do away with the transformable feature. If you focused on one form rather than combining both, then you could focus on a single toy (a human-shaped figure for example) and employ every trick in the book to make that toy frickin’ awesome. Such as what Toynami did with their 2001 outing into the Robotech universe.

Background

Toynami remains a relative newcomer to the toy scene. Most people know of it’s (relative) meteoric rise to indie stardom in the wake of the dot com revolution in the 90s and early 2000s. A lot of toy companies cropped up during that time because, with the advent of Internet marketing, they could market worldwide without having to get shelf space in brick-and-mortar toy stores. This meant they could avail themselves of a wider consumer base while at the same appealing to niche markets.

The Robotech fandom is one such niche market. While Robotech may be one of the more famous shows from the 80s anime invasion, it still has mostly faded from the cultural consciousness (unlike Transformers, GI Joe, or Voltron). But there are still die-hard Robotech fans out there and they clamber for solid Robotech toys so hey can recreate the action from the show about earth’s invasion by giant aliens. And so, in the first years of the new millennium, companies like Toynami delivered the answer to so many fanboy prayers.

Appearance – 4 out of 5

Dynamic poses are often a bit difficult to strike for many action figures, but especially so for mecha toys. But one of the benefits of this figure is that pretty much every pose is dynamic. There’s almost no way it can’t not look awesome, like it’s in the middle of some high-risk action shot. This is partially due to the wide stance of the legs, but whatever. The toy looks awesome.

Construction – 3 out of 5

This figure balances some really great features with some really disappointing ones. The toy is, overall, made from some pretty good plastic. The individual limbs and body have some nice weight to them, but still feel light. The problem is the joints don’t feel particularly sturdy and it seems like it’s only a matter of time before playing with the toy wears them out. Also, the same complaint I had with the Alpha toy from a few months back is here with the hands. The toy comes with a variety of hands, all of which have to be yanked out of the joint. A broken hand that can no longer be traded out are all but inevitable.

Movement – 4 out of 5

The Veritech has a lot of linear joints that add to up to a whole lot of movement. In fact, the only problem this toy has joint-wise is that the hip joints are linear but with the wide stance, it makes some poses (especially less dramatic poses) inaccessible. It should be noted – and commended – that the feet, knee, and hip joints all work very well together despite the hips being at such an odd angle. That being said, having waist and neck joints, and shoulder/arm/elbow joints that petty much guarantee unlimited arm movement, this toy is a lot of fun to pose again and again.

Extras – 2 out of 5

Again, like the Alpha review from earlier, this toy comes with a series of hands and a single gunpod. There’re are no additional elements such as missiles or the famous battloid armor from the series (or even the Super Veritech equipment). This lack of materials is disappointing because of all the possibilities the Robotech universe offers.

Packaging – 2 out of 5

The packaging for this toy was pretty unremarkable. It was pleasantly vivid in its overall color, but there was absolutely no explanation as to what the ship was, who Rick Hunter was, what Robotech was about, anything.

Overall – 3 out of 5

This toy is very firmly a Three. It wouldn’t have taken much to push this over into the Four range, but in the same vein, it wouldn’t have taken much to knock it down to a Two. It could easily have gone either way. As it is, this is a pretty fun toy that is clearly aimed at fans and collectors and will be a solid addition to their collections. Just don’t plan on it being the centerpiece.

Battle Beasts

Wood, Fire, Water, and FUN

Hasbro and Takara Battle Beasts Line, 1986

　

If Hasbro is a family, with Transformers and GI Joe being the eldest siblings, and My Little Pony being the little sister, the Battle Beasts are the cousin who died tragically in a car accident last Labor Day weekend.

Toy companies are always trying to come up with something neat, innovative, and engaging to the ever-changing audience. But one thing that rarely changes is the assumption that you get one toy per package. Oh, sure, occasionally you’ll get a two-pack deal as part of a special promotion. But in general, one package, one toy. That’s the way it works, right?

Well, in 1984, Hasbro challenged this notion with the rarely remembered, but fondly recalled Battle Beasts. These simple thumb-sized toys came in packs of two, ensuring that right from the get-go, there was gonna be a pint-sized war.

　

Background

In the Land of the Rising Sun, from where the Battle Beasts hail, they are actually part of the Transformers series (called the Beast Formers, in no way related to the Beast Wars series…that we know of). But like most awesome toys in Japan, Hasbro came along and got the rights to distribute it worldwide. After what must have been whole minutes of brainstorming, the powers-that-be at Hasbro apparently decided that they didn’t want to ensure a guaranteed hit by tying the Battle Beasts in with the Transformers and launched them as their own line. The Battle Beasts did quite well for a bit, but like many of the 80s toy lines, it died a quiet death.

The Battle Beasts were plentiful in design and style, but they all were anthropomorphic animals in battle armor. Many had a hand replaced with a weapon (as evidenced by our little rhino guy who has a mace for a hand) and the others came with little weapons that were all too easy to lose (as evidenced by their absence from the picture). Each figure also had a heat-sensitive logo that revealed what element they belonged to (think of Battle Beasts as a big game of Paper-Rock-Scissors; Fire beats Wood, Wood beats Water, Water beats Fire). Which characters had which element though was random, so it was possible to have the same figure three times, each with a different element. This led to some weird combinations, such as a shark with the Wood element, but whatever.

Battle Beasts’ big selling aspect, though, was that they came in pairs. Right from the start, you were good to go (unless by sheer happenstance you happened to get two warriors of the same element). While there were vehicles and bases (which I never owned, but DESPERATELY wanted…thanks for nothing, Santa), Battle Beasts are mostly known for the paired packaging that made play immediate with a single purchase.

　

Appearance – 3 out of 5

These little guys are surprisingly detailed for being an inch and a half tall. Pretty much everything except the soles of their feet have texture and most characters are painted with three or four colors. The armor designs are pretty generic, but are all stylistically similar and include little notches, spikes, tubes, or other features to encourage imaginative interpretations of their powers.

Construction – 4 out of 5

These little guys are tough. They’re made out of single plastic, so they’re quite sturdy. The plastic is just soft enough that you don’t have to worry about puncturing skin if you step on one with your bare feet, but don’t expect these things to get crushed in the process. They’re quite hardy and very resilient.

Movement – 1 out of 5

For as great as these little toys are, they can’t move worth a damn. All figures have two joints: linear shoulder joints. Heads can turn, legs can’t bend, nothing.

Extras – 2 out of 5

Judging the extras is a wee bit picky because some figures came with a weapon and some didn’t. Those that did not usually came with a weapon equipped (like a drill instead of a left hand). The weapons were usually single pieces of plastic of one color, so they weren’t anything to write home about.

Packaging – 2 out of 5

The Battle Beasts’ packaging was pretty generic. It had a hand-drawn image of the war between two unidentified factions, and a plastic cover showing the two beasts in the package. On the back was an extremely rudimentary explanation of the basic setting, but most of the space was given up to explaining the color-changing decals. There was no real explanation for the plot, why the factions were fighting, or exactly how the factions formed. Or how the decals played into the fight. For example, how did my Lion being a Water element somehow trump my rhino who is a Fire element? Do the decals imbue magical powers? It’s unanswered.

　

Overall – 3 out of 5

Where these any other toys, they probably would have gotten a Two. But the Battle Beasts’ ruggedness, when coupled with their size, makes them too ideal. Yeah, they can’t move, but they’re the size of your thumb! Plus, the color-changing decals made the little figures into an advanced form of Paper-Rock-Scissors, which I believe was a precursor to so many of the toy/video game/collectible combat games that are all the rage now.

Megatron

Namesake of a Pistol

Hasbro Transformers Generation Two, 1992

Whether it’s toys or the mecha genre, Hasbro’s Transformers hold a hallowed place in the hearts and minds of all. But where there is love there is also heated controversy stemming from the slightest deviation of the established and accepted norm. And nowhere is this more evident than in the vehicle modes of the beloved Transformers. Consider for a moment the ardent debates about Optimus Prime in the 2007 live-action movie. All other aspects of the debate aside, many griped and complained that he went from a flat-nosed truck to an extended-cab truck. He didn’t even change vehicle types and people still got pissy.

The origins of this debate could arguably date back to the Transformer’s line rebirth in the early 90s with the Generation Two series. While Gen-2 saw many of the original toys refurbished and repackaged, others were recreated, including Optimus’ nemesis, the leader of the Decepticons, Megatron.

　

Background

When the original Transformers series ended in 1989, it left a vacuum in the hearts and minds of fans everywhere. The toys managed to endure for sometime after, but without the animated series to promote them, they quickly became more of a novelty than anything else. That changed in 1992 when Hasbro relaunched the Transformers line as Transformers Generation Two. While most of the toys remained unchanged despite some slight cosmetic alterations, one toy was radically re-imagined: the leader of the Decepticons, Megatron.

Megatron originally transformed into a Walther P-38 pistol that was so accurate in its detail, urban legends sprung up about Megatron toys being used in an assortment of crimes (the validity of these stories always remaining highly suspect). While this is often pointed to as the reason for Megatron’s reimaging as a tank, there are other equally if not more believable explanations. Megatron’s transformation sequence from giant robot to robot-sized pistol challenged the suspension of disbelief for many fans…fans of a show about alien robots that transform into earth vehicles. When the series would be translated into the live-action movies, this issue would be revisited with the writers of the movies stating ‘Megatron turning into a pistol would be sort of like Darth Vader turning into a lightsaber and having some else wield him’. And while the thought of a Darth-Vader-lightsaber wielded by Boba Fett is certainly compelling, the argument still stands.

Whatever the motivation, the solution was to have Megatron transform not into a pistol but into a big honking tank, complete with firing cannon. This actually silenced some complaints about Megatron’s new form because in the end, going from a pistol to a tank is kind of an upgrade.

Appearance – 3 out of 5

It’s a little tricky judging this toy’s appearance because of it’s not clear what to judge its appearance against. If we compare it to the original Gen-1 Megatron, then it fails to look as realistic, but it succeeds in looking more like the Megatron from the animated series. Seriously, check out the face and body of the original Megatron toy and you’ll see it looked nothing like Megatron from the series. As this is a tank – and a kind of neon camouflage tank at that – this Megatron toy doesn’t look like he did in the series. However the face is not only dead-on but it actually captures the overall identity of the character from the animated series. Likewise, when compared to other toys in the line, the physical size of this toy definitely helps to lend some credence and credibility to the role Megatron plays in the narrative (IE being a source of fear).

Representing the animated series’ character aside, this is a solid mid-range toy when it comes to appearance. There are lots of tactile details, but most of them are a bit weak in their overall execution. This is by no means a model of a tank, but it does fit in with the way the Transformers were/are generally depicted.

Construction – 2 out of 5

The Generation 2 toys were a bit of a sad time in toys because it really marked a turning point in the Transformers line because fewer and fewer of their figures were being made out of the beloved die-cast metal. Worse, the plastic that was being used had a tendency to be a little on the light side. Megatron is no exception and while the toy is not outstandingly weak or found lacking, it is a bit noticeable how light the arms, legs, and the toy overall is when held in the hand. It’s not bad, but it certainly could be a lot better.

Movement – 2 out of 5

The figure’s movements are pretty limited to linear shoulder rotation and elbow joints (not including the wheels meant to simulate the tank treads). There are knees and a waist, but their movements are more connected to the transformation sequence. The head doesn’t rotate, which is a shame. The gun does elevate partially, but that’s about it.

Extras – 3 out of 5

I can’t decide if it is disappointing or expected that Megatron would come with so few extra components. The Transformers line(s), for all their strengths, have never really been one for extras. Megatron comes with a pistol (that doubles as an anti-personnel rifle in tank mode) and six missiles that the cannon can fire in either mode. Only four rounds can be loaded at a time, but there is storage for the extra rounds in Megatron’s legs.

What few extras it has, I think this toy does a very good job. Everything can be used and utilized in every mode and everything the toy comes with can be contained in the toy itself. It’s this trait that I really wish we’d see more of. Likewise, the use of electronic sound effects (cocking the gun and firing the gun – which is two separate motions, which I must highlight as being awesome – raising the left arm for laser-firing sounds, and an ‘I am Megatron’ voice effect when the head is pressed down) is effective (though the voice doesn’t even remotely sound like Frank Welker) but not overbearing. I think this section might have ranked higher if it had just worked with a few more extras.

Packaging – 4 out of 5

Hasbro knows packaging, there’s no doubt. The Generation 2 toyline looked cool and the packaging used a lot of the classic toy designs along with new approaches to packaging. There is a bio card with a personal quote, character stats, and a general overview of who the character is. Likewise, there are Transformer points (that unfortunately never ended up being used, unlike the original line where Reflector could be ‘bought’ using the points) and a review of the story and the character.

Overall – 3 out of 5

This kind of toy is one of the hardest to rate because it falls so squarely between a Three and a Four. If they’d done just a wee bit more with the toy or had done things just a wee bit better, this would be a fantastic toy that every kid, collector, and fan would love to have. As it is, just one too many elements come in just under expectations, leaving this version of Megatron on the upper end of the mediocre side of things.

Ultraman

Disappointing A Loyal Fandom

Tsuburaya and Bandai, 1990

Recently, I’ve gotten some correspondence from people regarding my grading methods as well as my selection of toys, both of which seem to be a source of some confusion and/or consternation. That’s an issue for another posting, but I wanted to mention it here to help explain why this particular toy was chosen.

To start off, I love Ultraman. I’m kind of a nerd for the big rubber suit monster movies like Godzilla and others, so it was only natural that I would be a HUGE fan of the Ultraman: Towards The Future series in the 90s. The series ended too quickly for my tastes and the lack of a DVD release is a shame. But there were some toys and they were, in a word, awful.

Background

Ultraman is the Dr. Who to Godzilla’s Star Trek. Back before computer graphics could make a giant monster out of thin air, the only way to make such monsters was to build a miniature of a city and then have a guy in a big rubber suit smash it to bits. Hence the genre of Daidocugi movies, or ‘big rubber monsters’ movies. After Godzilla hit it big, a host of imitators and innovators appeared, including Ultraman (created by the same company as Godzilla).

The plot of Ultraman varies from series to series, but it generally involves Ultraman, the benevolent alien from Out There, bonding with an equally altruistic human in order to defend the earth against a weekly onslaught of giant monsters. The series that inspired this toy however broke from tradition and was set not only somewhere other than Japan, but starred a mostly non-Asian crew. Ultraman: Towards The Future (or Ultraman the Great for some audiences) was filmed in Australia and contained a pretty diverse cast who belonged to the Universal Multipurpose Agency (or UMA). They dealt with a variety of problems that always ended up with their maverick agent, Jack Shindo, calling upon Ultraman to fight a giant monster.

Ultraman: Towards The Future lasted one season in the United States, but legends abound of a second season that was filmed but never released. The season itself was divided with the first half of episodes following what was known as the Gudis story arc (Gudis being the over-arching bad guy) and then a series of misadventures with a different monster/threat each week. The toys to support the series appeared quietly and disappeared about as quickly, possibly due to their overall substandard nature. There were five toys (four monsters and Ultraman) along with two vehicles (for the UMA agents) and a playset. The vehicles were, by and large, leaps and bounds superior in their construction…or at least appeared to be on the back of the packaging because so few people ever found them to buy them.

Appearance – 2 out of 5

The Ultraman figure looks good and is a dead ringer for the character from the show. They do a pretty decent job of matching the colors and getting his overall proportions correct (action figures are notorious for beefing up their heroes), making him look fit and strong but not turning him into a muscle-bound he-man. The Jack Shindo figure that comes with Ultraman is generic at best, with almost no remarkable features. The only outstanding praise is to the weapon Jack Shindo carries being quite impressively molded to look like the weapons from the show. Otherwise there’s nothing outstanding about either character’s appearance.

Construction – 1 out of 5

The figure isn’t particularly rugged or heavy and the plastic that it is made out of is a bit on the sturdy side, but not remarkably so. Imagine the arms from the He-Man figures, only if they were hollow, and if they were the entire figure. The figure is about as heavy and feels about as sturdy as a bottle of aspirin.

Movement – 1 out of 5

The damn thing can barely move! It has two linear shoulder joints and a linear neck joint and that’s it. Yes, TECHNICALLY, is has hip joints, but about the only thing they’re useful for is changing his stance from a martial arts horse stance to doing the cha-cha. And his waist joint, assuming that’s supposed to be a joint, can’t rotate at all. I’m not kidding when I describe this thing as a semi-poseable statue. The Jack Shindo figure has linear shoulder, hip, and neck joints, giving it pretty rudimentary movements. But that means that the little toy accessory is more mobile than the main toy itself!

Extras – 2 out of 5

I will give the toy some credit that it comes with the Jack Shindo figure, which is superior in just about every fashion. Ultraman doesn’t have any tools or weapons, so it makes sense he wouldn’t come with such, so they had to do something. Unfortunately, their plan to ‘do something’ was to upstage their own figure.

Packaging – 3 out of 5

The packaging for the figure was possibly the best part. There was an exceptionally generic explanation of who and what Ultraman was (that read like it was ripped off from a Voltron toy) and a list of every toy in the line, basically giving you the entire catalog in one go. The packaging was brightly colored and it showed you the toy inside through a plastic window.

Overall – 1 out of 5

Normally toys of this ilk (ie semi-posable statues) are not something I review. But I wanted to do so now to illustrate just what ranks as a One in my book. And as much as I love the Ultraman Franchise, and the Towards the Future series that inspired this toy, it doesn’t change the fact that this figure is so disappointing, it barely counts as a toy at all.